Women Will Dominate and Cuckold You (If You Let Them) | Girls Chase

Women Will Dominate and Cuckold You (If You Let Them)

Chase Amante

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women love to cuckold men
The dark side of female morality: girls love to cuckold and humiliate men who let them. Understanding this is key to liberation from the victim cycle.

Prefatory warning: this is one of those hardcore articles where I show you the dark side of women, seduction, and society.

We’re going to discuss some aspects of female morality that may make you uncomfortable (or may excite you; depends on whether you’re after fun flings, or The One). This article will be in the vain of this one and this one by Chase.

So don’t say I didn’t want you.

After the darkness, we will come back to the light. But first we’re going to venture into the dungeons.

Warnings aside, if you’re still with me, then let’s get to it.

Hector CastilloAbout the Author: Hector Castillo

Hector Castillo is the web’s top expert on getting laid in college. In his small town university, he went from World of Warcraft nerd to president of his fraternity in 4 years... And on the way, he bedded close to 50 women. His book King of College is due out soon. Listen to the 40-minute interview with Hector on his story and some of his prized tech... and sign up for a 12-week coaching course with him, here:

LISTEN TO WEBINAR & SIGN UP FOR COACHING

Comments

eric75's picture

First off, I like to thank you for a very thought provoking article. However I do have a few comments and concerns about this content and what i means for dating and relationships in general.

Wall of text incoming

In this article you seem to imply that at any and all times women’s first and primary concern is herself and their feeling of satisfaction in the relationship and they will have no problem jumping ships if they it is to their benefit (I'm not attempting to argue morality I am simply rephrasing how I saw the article in question). My question is how do you continue to have loving and healthy long-term relationship or even marriage with the knowledge to that you can go from loving husband of 20 years to a cuckolded loser based on the whims of your woman’s emotions. As a human being, there are only so many times you continuously go up become stronger, more dominant, pass her fitness tests with flying colors, and brush away her every challenge effortlessly. Even the strongest of men kings, emperors, soldiers, captains of industry, men more brave and masculine and dominant than you and I can even fathom have had intense periods of weakness, depression and low self-esteem. Knowing that your woman is never truly yours how do you reconcile the fact that as man you never really have a period “safe and secure” in your relationships and show her genuine love and compassion anyway despite the fact that you must constantly be on the lookout for any chinks in your armour, her other dominant and masculine potential suitors, any other temptations she might have, or outside factors that you can't expect or control.
I’m a 20-year-old man I’ve never been in a relationship and after reading the articles on this website make feel a combination of hope and cynicism. The hope comes from the fact the I know any man can improve their romantic situation if they try hard enough. However, the cynical part of me reads an article like this and goes can you ever fully trust women and let your guard down, can you ever be weak for an extended period of time, can you ever fail. Even if I did become the most dominant/masculine man in the whole freaking world what happens if I short circuit one day lose my mojo and am weak temporarily. If I'm married to a high value/high-quality woman who knows what she wants and how to get it and live in a city where men are masculine and not afraid to approach other men’s wives will i end up getting cucked by some guy like Chase because I failed fitness test #3743 even though this has never happened before. I feel like that's why manosphere/red pill types are so cynical is because women's nature makes it seem like you have to be 110% at all times to have a relationship with a high-value woman and if you aren't you can kiss any idea of commitment or loyalty goodbye in this dog eat dog game of relationships where if your not in first place you might as well be dead last. These kind of articles are very good and offer an interesting perspective however they also make start thinking that women cannot be 100% trusted in long term relationships and I would always have to watch my back and that does seem like a very healthy thing to for a relationship making me feel very conflicted as to what to do.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Perfect questions, Eric!

"Knowing that your woman is never truly yours how do you reconcile the fact that as man you never really have a period “safe and secure” in your relationships and show her genuine love and compassion anyway despite the fact that you must constantly be on the lookout for any chinks in your armour, her other dominant and masculine potential suitors, any other temptations she might have, or outside factors that you can't expect or control."

A woman is never yours - that is precisely the point. You should never be hers completely, either. You are two people who don't need each other, but are choosing to be together.

You will mess up, too. That's the nature of reality. All conditioned phenomena are subject to decay. No one in history has ever shown or demonstrated anything that can withstand the ravages of impermanence and time. And they never will.

Girls understand this, at least intuitively. That's why they (usually) get over heartbreak quicker and with more gusto, while men are lost in their misconceptions of unconditional romantic love. I actually plan on writing an article series on love and romance that will blow this article away in terms of "fuck what you believed."

Here's the silver lining: you can genuinely love women. I'm an absolute sweetheart to girls (most of the time) and they fawn all over it. They treat me with respect, love, and adoration. That's because my romanticism is coming from a non-possessive foundation. I tell women that I am in love with women (though I stray from specifically saying "I love YOU" for now), I tell them that women are my teachers and I owe everything to women. They reward me with naughty sex, their blatant honesty (where i learned many of these truths directly from their mouth), and devotion. Is there a chance they will stray? Well, sure, eventually I will fuck up or I will move on. The latter move is the trick - end it before they do. You can even have girls leave you of their own accord, but only because you can't give them what they want anymore, quite explicitly. Think about the lone traveler who needs to travel somewhere new and can't be with her anymore. She'll end it, but not because she wants to. Because she HAS to. Go read Zan Perrion's The Alabaster Girl. It's the greatest treatise every written on this, except for Casanova's memoirs (and those are the only romance books Zan has ever read).

I think some guys might misapply some paranoia to my thesis as well. They think that they have to be constantly on guard, can't be vulnerable, and even when you two are sitting alone in a room watching movies and drinking wine, that you have toworry about her sucking some other guy's dick. That is precisely the opposite of what you should do.

You shouldn't worry about her cheating on you, you should only worry about being the best man for her and for yourself (the latter is more important). If she cheats, she cheats. There are plenty of articles from Chase on picking girls with traits and beliefs that make this less likely, too. But I've seen super conservative chicks, that come from healthy households, who don't drink or party, yet cheat on their boyfriends.

Does this mean monogamy can't work? Fuck naw. Monogamy is great. I think a woman can be devoted and loyal to you for fifty years or more. Chew on that one for a bit and see how it fits into my paradigm (it does) ;)

I warned all readers before I wrote this article what they were jumping into. You are obviously very rational about your questions and not losing your shit, but I think I peeped a comment on here that is definitely coming from butt-hurtness. That's also not including the many men who read this and don't comment, but lose their minds. Those are probably the guys most likely to get cucked.

The manospherians looked into the abyss, and they blinked. The difference between a man who truly loves women is that he understands the darkness of women and loves them anyways.

If you really want me to blow your mind (don't read further), here's a few other hard-hitting facts that I'll tackle in some articles

- Women don't love you, they love the idea of you
- Women can never unconditionally love you (the only exception being your mother and PERHAPS a daughter).
- Women are prolific liars
- Women can never be 100% trusted

BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, I love them anyways. I think they're the most divine manifestation of love the universe has ever created. Art, philosophy, and science don't even come close. Women are all reflections of the masculine desire to understand and penetrate, while man is the ultimate divine manifestation of power/truth.

Also, and this is the super kicker, everything I just wrote about women in those bullet points, can be said about men as well. That's the funny part about the manosphere. They all huddle together and declare war on women, and somehow think they are brothers. Give me a beautiful, sweet girl, I"ll throw her in the room with them, and they'll be at each other's throats in an instant.

We are all savages. And it is wonderfully exciting.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

SanFran's picture

Hey Hector,

Judging from other comments, and from when I first read this article, it can kind of come across the feel of a guy needs to be "perfect' w/ a girl and never mess up and good to see that comment addresses that. Might be nice to add it to the article tho.

Could you explain the idea of "Women don't love you, they love the idea of you" caz I feel like as people get to know each other over a long-period of time, that statement falls untrue. They cannot be as sexually attracted to you, but love can be related to that but also a bit different.

Could you also explain the your statement of "I think a woman can be devoted and loyal to you for fifty years or more." and how you think monogamy can work? I'm interested in hearing your take on this?

Thanks man - SF

SanFran's picture

I also liked how you wrote in the article of sexual marketplace/location/competition and in this comment of kinds of girls who are less likely to cheat - and i wrote this in the comment for Chase's love article - but the point sometimes gets lost in articles when writers use the word "women" and it can be an all-encompassing point, but reality is that different girls want different things and have different belief & world views.

There is still the point of this article of the natural feminine-energy/the way women are in their feminine ways (tests, whatever, etc.) but the message/feel of this article can be taken as creating paranoia of women cheating caz that's the way all women are just caz.

So for example, if a guy is in a more non-city place, and his girl has had 2 past boyfriends, and he's good in bed/her best lover, gets her to submit, flirts well, leads the relationship well, connects w/ her enough, and is more awesome than about 90% of the guys she sees around/or even interacts w/, the odds of his girl cheating are pretty dang low, in my opinion, even lower if he screens and really gets to see what kind of girl she is. Never 0 like in any case caz can't control others but still low-low.

A part of the fault is on the readers too of creating their own paranoia of taking this as all women are like this, when girls come in soooo much variety at least from what I've seen, etc.

I think the point of the article is good but meshing that message to the reality of the world would be better to not create as much fear/disharmony in men in trusting women. It's just like the title of "...if you let them" was good and ur examples of not submitting to her (to me is pretty simple but idk about other guys it seems maybe, idk haven't seen enough others examples). But then the example of that girl in the club, etc. can send the wrong message when beginner/some guys empathize as the guy who is the boyfriend being cheated on caz it's just one example/experiences in a world w/ millions of them. Also dating girls who dont' club & party helps! lol

- SF

Franco Lombardi's picture

SanFran,

I think this is a good comment, and I generally agree.

Hector, if you're reading this, you might want to add a caveat at the bottom of your article in case people don't read the comments:

"Caveat: However, assuming you are a strong, dominant man in a woman's life who manages his woman's emotions as well as the relationship itself, monogamy does work, and that woman will have a very low (read: negligible) chance of cheating on you."

;)

- Franco

Robert Lopez 's picture

I've read The Rational Male, but the vibe I got from it was that of a bitter manophere dweller. I was cucked by a beautiful woman. Initially she fell in love with the idea of me because I held a powerful frame. I didn't take shit from her, anyone, or anything, accomplishing damn thing everything that I set I eyes on. Then the death of a loved one crippled me. I lost the power frame and I began to emotionally lean on her and after some time she began to treat me worse, ruthlessly tested me and didn't want to have sex in contrast to the sex on demand I would previously receive. I then found out she would go out partying and fooled around with other guys until she left me for some guy. I chose to still love women and could never relate to the manosphere, but never again will I lean emotionally on a woman for more than a day regardless of what happens, thats what I have my bros for.

Jimmy Truth's picture

I would answer your first question this way. You must continue to be the bull even when you are in your relationship. You must be the dominant one and not accept any childish behavior from your woman because she will test you constantly. When you are sure that she is the one and you want to get married it better be because you want a family. Marriage is a ridiculous notion if you don't plan on having kids. When you do you knock her up a few times over the first few years and build your family all while maintaining your dominance. As your children grow up you can concentrate on your bond with your wife and give her more responsibility but you must always make sure it is known throughout the family you are the final word. If you allow your wife to have final word with your kids they will turn to her as the dominant one and you will lose the respect you should have.

A simple girl, with a dream.'s picture

The only truly interesting thing about this article is the way it seems to have been written by a woman, about men in general.

Would be more accurate, too.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

The way that was written makes me think I could truly get inside the mind of a woman (and you are a girl judging by your handle).

If it was mean that way, as a compliment, thank you.

If not (and the "only truly interesting" fragment makes me think this), thank you as well.

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Beck's picture

That's my man ;)

When I look back and remember girls I lost I always feel bad because I was being the cuck, not the bull. I think I already knew all of this long ago, girls with boyfriends with their hands all over me, eyefucking, all the booklet. Still I pussied out. I guess this is why I'm here.

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

Hell yeah. Probably the best thing you can say to a man when he espouses something is

"Yep. I feel ya, bruh."

It's masculine, doesn't get mired in the nuance of pedantry, and is gracious.

Gracias, amigo.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

Joel's picture

So to sum it up, what you are saying is:
- Every women will betray you, because eventually you will have a moment of weakness
- if a women asks you to do something that you don't want to do you and you do it you are a cuckhold (so if your baby cries at night and your wife asks you to check up on him and you do it even if you want to sleep you are a cuckhold and she will betray you!)
- you seduce women who have a boyfriends and brag about it because.... A girl played you?

Essentially this article tells us and advises us not to go into relationships because they are pointless, painful and will end up with betrayal whether you know it or not. Has anyone even approved your article?

Author
Hector Castillo's picture

I'm not sure you did.

"Every women will betray you, because eventually you will have a moment of weakness."

Nope.

Every woman CAN betray you, if you let them (dude, it's literally in the title), if you become too weak. The degree of weakness she'll betray you at depends on her personality.

"if a women asks you to do something that you don't want to do you and you do it you are a cuckhold (so if your baby cries at night and your wife asks you to check up on him and you do it even if you want to sleep you are a cuckhold and she will betray you!)"

Lol. Feel like i'm arguing with a chick.

"- you seduce women who have a boyfriends and brag about it because.... A girl played you?"

Of course. Our traumas dictate our fetishes. The only abnormal sexuality is no sexuality. I was bullied, so I like bullying guys who deserve it (mostly by fucking their girlfriends). I have no qualms about admitting this. Why'd you start your journey? "Because I want to get better with girls?" Ain't that simple. Where's your darkness come from?

"Essentially this article tells us and advises us not to go into relationships because they are pointless, painful and will end up with betrayal whether you know it or not. Has anyone even approved your article?"

Essentially it doesn't say that at all. Relationships are impermanent, but that doesn't mean they're pointless. If that's your position on impermanence, I suggest either monasticism or...you know...

As for approval, yes, it has to approved by both Chase and our editor.

Hector

Want to make her wet? I'll show you how.

BMontana's picture

Well, it is a nice article with lots of truth in it. But something bothers me:

Why did you write it in the first place?

Truth to be told, the most and EASIEST Sex I have had recently was with married women and those in relationships. I didn't care why they cheated on their husbands I just know a lot of women do cheat if they can. But if this article was written about men, then nobody would even care, right? Because, yeah men would cheat too, not all of them, if they had the opportunity to fuck a hot woman as long as they don't get caught. It seems to me, you wrote this article in order to rationalize a woman's behavoiur whenever she is about to cheat. Why is there a difference whether she cheats or he cheats? Isn't it just save to say she cheated because

a) she was horny/a guy made her horny
b) she liked the thrill
c) she knew she wasn't going to get caught?

I mean why do we have rationalize whatever women do but never rationalize what men do?

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

You're misunderstanding why women cheat. Here is why women would cheat (on you):

a) YOU no longer make her horny
b) YOU no longer give her any thrills (i.e. public sex, orgasms, anal, new positions, etc.)
c) YOU were not going to catch her

So while you've listed all the reasons men like to cheat, you did not list any of the reasons women like to cheat. Do you understand the difference here? Everything a woman does when it comes to cheating is in response to YOU not doing something that she desires. So if you are making her horny, giving her orgasms, and constantly being a strong, dominant presence in her life, then she has no reason to cheat.

Men, on the other hand, like to cheat because they like variety -- it is biologically programmed for men to reproduce with many different types of women to spread their genes; however, women, on the other hand, are programmed to reproduce with the strongest genes that they can reliably get. If you are the strongest man her in life, then it reasons that she has no other needs that need to be fulfilled and she will not cheat on you.

- Franco

Tikk's picture

This is blaming the victim.

Would you blame a woman who was a victim of physical abuse and tell her she needs to listen to her husband's orders in the future? If she's obedient, then there will be no abuse.

Do you see how dark your attitudes are?

Cheating is by definition misleading and harmful to your partner.

Franco Lombardi's picture

There is a stark difference in your analogy that you present. In the scenario where a man physically abuses a woman, the woman does not have the right to leave; OR she is afraid of leaving for her own physical safety.

In the case of a woman who cheats on a man, the man has every right to walk out on her. If he chooses to stay with her, then he chooses to accept that behavior from her.

So no, the attitude you present in your analogy is much more "dark" then the attitude I present in my analogy.

See this article here: How Victim Mentality Can Stifle Your Life -- and Luck With Women

- Franco

Chase Amante's picture

If someone steps on a bear trap in the forest, you can both feel bad for him, but also teach him how to not step on bear traps the next time he's in the forest.

While it might feel good to tell him he did nothing wrong, and it was those evil bear hunters who set the bear traps, and he should just keep doing what he's doing and keep being himself, your well-intentioned consoling is not going to help cut down on the number of bear hunters leaving bear traps all over the underbrush. It's only going to lead to this poor sap getting his foot chopped off when he steps in another bear trap.

Chase

BMontana's picture

I appreciate your reply, thank you.

Yet I still think you or should I say lots of websites such as GC suggesting that women cheat because they either were missing something in their relationships or because their men didn't fulfill their needs are not 100% true, even though I don't doubt that there is a lot of truth at what you say.

But as for your comment, "So while you've listed all the reasons men like to cheat, you did not list any of the reasons women like to cheat", I actually mentioned the reasons I believe why women cheat. Those are basicly the same reasons why men cheat and I wrote them down in my previous comment. Men usually don't cheat if they are highly in love with a woman (even though we still are definately able to have sex with a hot stranger woman) and the same thing goes for women. But those feelings will loosen up in the future, so Imo both genders are likely to cheat to the their partners. What do you think about the stats showing that women are even more likely to cheatt than men? Would you suggest it's just because so many men fail all the time?

"however, women, on the other hand, are programmed to reproduce with the strongest genes that they can reliably get. If you are the strongest man her in life, then it reasons that she has no other needs that need to be fulfilled and she will not cheat on you." So basicly women will cheat on you anytime if you fail to fulfill her needs. But Don't you think she will cheat on you if she meets a hot guy and gets horny anyway? Don't you think after being in a relationship for like 2-3 or more years she is more likely to be curious about other men even when her guy is a good lover? Let's face it, it's hard work to give a women multiple orgasms and being fun ALL THE TIME.

All I am saying is, that I don't believe women are any different than men at all when it comes to sex and cheating. Many articles on GS suggest that women LOVE Sex, maybe even more than men do. I think women will cheat, if they get horny and curious about other men after being in a relationship with the same guy for many years. That's why I don't think we should rationalize everything women do while we take it as a given whatever men do.

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

But as for your comment, "So while you've listed all the reasons men like to cheat, you did not list any of the reasons women like to cheat", I actually mentioned the reasons I believe why women cheat.

If that's what you believe, then we'll just have to agree to disagree. The only way you can really confirm this is by testing this hypothesis yourself. I have done my own testing, and I have concluded that the women I have taken into relationships refuse to cheat on me because I give them no reason to do so.

You must do your own testing here and come to your own conclusions.

What do you think about the stats showing that women are even more likely to cheatt than men? Would you suggest it's just because so many men fail all the time?

Yes.

But Don't you think she will cheat on you if she meets a hot guy and gets horny anyway? Don't you think after being in a relationship for like 2-3 or more years she is more likely to be curious about other men even when her guy is a good lover?

Nope, assuming that the relationship is being managed correctly.

Let's face it, it's hard work to give a women multiple orgasms and being fun ALL THE TIME.

It sure is! But women are the most attracted to hard-working, determined, and focused men... are they not? =)

All I am saying is, that I don't believe women are any different than men at all when it comes to sex and cheating. Many articles on GS suggest that women LOVE Sex, maybe even more than men do. I think women will cheat, if they get horny and curious about other men after being in a relationship with the same guy for many years. That's why I don't think we should rationalize everything women do while we take it as a given whatever men do.

Again, we will have to agree to disagree. My own personal experience with women and relationships has shown me otherwise, as well as the observation of other peoples' relationships.

All you can really do is test this and find out yourself. I've come to the conclusion that monogamous relationships can work without cheating if you want them to, and if you understand how to make them that way.

Make sure to explore the concept thoroughly before coming to a conclusion: Real Empiricists Test

- Franco

BMontana's picture

Well, yes you are right, we will have to agree to disagree on a few things.

But there is one thing left to say:

A man will never really know whether his gf or wife has cheated on him. Like I said, I have a thing for married women or those in relationships and either their husbands/bf are clueless or they don't give a fuck. ;-)

Hum's picture

This is so true. I have also experienced this, both getting blindsided and watching oblivious boyfriends. A lot these cats spouting dominance and need meeting as cure-alls for fidelity are trumpeting a delusional comfort to guard against the uncertainty. Sure buddy, YOUR girls don't cheat because you are just so goddamn put together. I'm guessing you're still in your 20s. Really, Chase's articles on not dating girls who drink/party and who can be estimated to have low partner counts are super on point. I really don't think it matters how much you have your house in order, if you play with charismatic and attractive women with highly active social lives, the risk is omnipresent. This is life, and it fucking sucks ass if you don't believe in external dalliances yourself. Women lie, men lie, and if you happen to be one of those rare honest people you are just gonna get stomped on the journey. Qualifying and ruthless culling are just so important. I wonder if its possible to realize that without the experience of getting emotionally murdered though..

Franco Lombardi's picture

One thing to note is that screening for women still matters. And what's even MORE important than screening for women who don't drink/party is screening for women that are at LEAST slightly less outgoing than you are.

If you decide to date a woman who is more outgoing than yourself, then you put yourself at risk of her becoming "bored" with the idea of you and the relationship (or her dreaming of the prospect of the man who can "keep up with her" -- in what is likely to be her own words).

One of the reasons the girls I date never want to cheat on me is that I am always more outgoing than they are; they are way more concerned about whether or not I am cheating on them rather than the other way around. And this concern (which I try to keep at a rather low level to avoid too much drama) is what continually keeps them chasing me during the entire course of the relationship.

In reality, the entire concept comes down to psychology. I know women don't cheat on me because they never feel like they really have me, and they spend the entire relationship attempting to do everything they can do to make themselves feel more secure. A woman who is endlessly trying to feel secure in a relationship with a man does not have time to concern herself with other men, nor does she want to.

As long as you screen appropriately for women who will spend the entire relationship trying to keep up with you, then you need not worry about her drifting away because you can't keep up with her.

- Franco

BMontana's picture

Franco,

that's like playing mind games, which means you just can't relax for one second because you are trying to have your women wonder about you. See your gf might not cheat on you but the reason is not because they are truthful at all, it's because they are not sure about your fidelity. You make them jealous and insecure on purpose. I mean I prefere it too when women get protective and kind of controlling, but that's just playing them. You are basicly admitting that the only reason you assume our gf don't cheat on you is because they are less outgoing and insecure. It might work but it only works because of the circumstances. If you meet a hot, beautiful and outgoing women, what do you do then? Do you let her go because you know you can't keep up with her? That's kind of depressing to me.

Btw, there are just too many women who are outgoing enough. Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Tinder and all that crap have become tools to boost up a woman's ego. They get their validation on a daily basis.

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

that's like playing mind games, which means you just can't relax for one second because you are trying to have your women wonder about you.

Well, the first time (or two) that I was testing things out, it definitely felt like I was playing mind games. But after I noticed the "mind games" were working (so to speak), I began to just normally incorporate everything I was doing into my style of running a relationship, and I haven't really thought about it at all since. Now it's just something I do.

See your gf might not cheat on you but the reason is not because they are truthful at all, it's because they are not sure about your fidelity. You make them jealous and insecure on purpose.

Women lie all the time; I don't expect her to always be truthful. However, all I care about is whether or not she's faithful and low drama. If I'm achieving both of those things then it means I'm creating enough insecurity that she doesn't want to cheat but enough security that she doesn't complain all the time. Some drama is unavoidable, but understanding how to deal with drama when it arises can also be very attractive, and it only secures a girl's attraction for me even more.

I mean I prefere it too when women get protective and kind of controlling, but that's just playing them.

I don't really like my women to be controlling -- I think you're picturing the way I'm acting (and the way they are acting toward me) incorrectly in your head. You're imagining the asshole who's flirting with other girls in front of his girlfriend and making her insecure. That's not what I do. There's a lot more nuance to understanding insecurity/security -- I would do a quick search on the website to see if you can find more information. I can't recall an article off of the top of my head.

You are basicly admitting that the only reason you assume our gf don't cheat on you is because they are less outgoing and insecure. It might work but it only works because of the circumstances. If you meet a hot, beautiful and outgoing women, what do you do then? Do you let her go because you know you can't keep up with her?

Hot and beautiful does not necessarily equate to "outgoing," although I'm rather outgoing myself compared to most people (and have spent hundreds of hours in the nightlife scene, gone to many raves, have DJs/producers as friends, and often go to pool parties during the summer). All you need to be is slightly more outgoing than her (i.e. for every 9 times she wants to go "clubbing," you need to want to go 10 times; she should be the one attempting you convince you to stay home one night and cuddle with her rather than the other way around). If you're not a guy who likes to go clubbing at all (for example), then you shouldn't date a girl who wants to do it either. You'll never be as outgoing as her in that regard. That's where the screening comes into play.

Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Tinder and all that crap have become tools to boost up a woman's ego.

None of these things are relevant to what I'm talking about. A girl can be an IG addict or completely averse to social media and still be faithful. It really just depends on you as the guy and how you're managing the relationship.

- Franco

Franco Lombardi's picture

BMontana,

Chase just posted a refreshing, fantastic article that has to do with investment balance in a relationship (which has a direct correlation to security/insecurity). I'd give that a read here:

How Much Should You Do for a Girlfriend? The Investment Scales

- Franco

Hum's picture

Look man, I know that's what you believe. And sure, the logic in your system is pretty sound. I'm just telling you that the assumptions that underpin your model are not based in reality. Are you perhaps connected in some way to economics, either academically or professionally? It's just that this type of rationalizing is what I often hear from finance types making huge bank.

Franco, we get it, you are good with women and feel that you run your relationships with dominance, using a variety of tools. I think you gotta accept that you actually have no fucking clue whether the women you have dated or are dating are "loyal". It is a delusion that gives you comfort, which is understandable and normal. But really the best you can do is lower risk.

Don't get me wrong, I think agency and taking responsibility is great for your own personal development independent of relationships, so I'll never discourage someone from improvement. Its just that your model hasn't been empirically valid in my careful observations of human relationships. There was physicist/chemist/mathematician who developed a theory of human chemistry to predict couplings at a university using affinity and establishing keq. As I become more experienced, I find his hypothesis to be more persuasive than the "be better" model.

Franco Lombardi's picture

Hum,

I can spend all day trying to convince you of something I believe (and have experienced), but if you haven't seen it for yourself, then it's the same as banging my head against a wall.

You can choose to accept the theory from the physicist/chemist/mathematician if that is what you want to believe, but you'll also forever be skeptical of monogamy because of it. If your intention was never to run a monogamous relationship again in the future, then that's totally fine, and it's nothing to worry about anyway.

I enjoy monogamous relationships, and I make sure to run them in a way where I maximize my happiness. If anything, the only downfall of a monogamous relationship (at my level of knowledge) is that I am giving up my right to sleep with other women for an extended period of time; the aspect of cheating is something I don't even think about anymore (and haven't thought about in quite a long time). It's a negative feeling that I'm glad to have put to rest.

Also, I'm not in finance -- I'm in science/engineering.

- Franco

z23's picture

I've read enough GC articles to not assume this is saying you can never get into a relationship because you will eventually get betrayed. It's just pointing out that if you're constantly weak, women will despise you. Every man has moments of weakness, and those moments of weakness are actually endearing to women because they contribute to getting their man back on track. They feel much more invested in the relationship when they do that. It's when their man is constantly weak, or momentary weakness turns to perpetual weakness, that they end up despising him.

Not to mention, how many of these boyfriends started off from a weak position? They're sitting there trying to woo these women with dates and fancy dinners/drink, and the women goes for it for the provider aspect or that the guy seems good enough (or good looking enough) to give a shot. Then the guy ends up perpetually weak (as she suspected but liked him enough to find out for sure), and she throws him to the wolves (as she should cause he needs to man up). And let's not forget the examples in this article. Mr. Dog ate the pizza guy, and Mr. imma whine and mope at the bar cause my girl talked to another guy, both those guys are pathetic. And the guy who lets his girl go out to nightclubs with the other single girls is obviously failing in multiple counts too. A girl who's in a strong quality relationship will keep herself away from that kind of situation. The very fact that she's there speaks to the weakness of their relationship.

Once you get used to the GC method, specifically getting girls to bed asap and being a strong lover, THEY are the ones falling head over heals in love with you. She submits to you, and you are her king. She's in her place and is happy with the relationship (assuming you let it become a relationship). She'll always TRY to gain the upper hand, but you'll be a strong man who never quite lets her get there. You'll handle her drama and tests with finesse, while at the same time keeping her emotions in check and actually resolving her legitimate concerns. And she adores you for it. That creates very strong bonds that quality girls are unlikely to break.

On a final note, I found this to be one of Hector's better articles. He always writes quality stuff, and this one really hits it out of the park. It's a great reminder of the creatures we are dealing with and how they think. As long as we keep reminding ourselves to "be the bull", we will become the bull, and our lives and relationships will be the better for it.

Jimmy Truth's picture

His article is about nature and nature never makes a mistake. Only humans do that and you just made one. You revealed yourself as a bitter cuckold. Stop arguing with nature and accept your position as a cuckold or grow up and be a bull if you are that frustrated by it.

Rodrigo's picture

You mention having penetrating that girl that had a bf without condom initially... is such risky behavior a recurrent behavior with you? If so, have you ever gotten anything ugly down there or any health issue related to STDs?

the doctor's picture

Excellent article Hector, thanks.

2 questions -

1. Do you (did you ever) have any feelings of guilt associated with the "do what you want" credo?
I do. When I am pursuing what I want and trying to access my darker side, I feel that I will either a) hurt someone [e.g. the girl] or b) be undercut by someone else because I am not worthy enough. It's not a rationale response, but an emotional one from childhood, societal messages, etc., that I am trying to work with. Just wondering if you have also had to deal with these feelings?

2. Any romance novels you would recommend reading? I'm curious...

MD

Ash's picture

Hey Hector.

Since girls aren't afraid of playing these mindgames with us and are willing to judge us with harsh rules like these, does that mean we should be dark as well? Should we also embrace the dark side of ourselves?

As in feel free to manipulate her into giving us what we want?

As in be more sexual even though they verbally dismiss the comments?

As in say what we want when we want no matter who gets hurt?

As in completely disregard her when making our choices?

As in feel no shame in dipping our toes into our fellow man's girlfriends?

As in HAVE NO LIMITS?

PS: I liked reading your article. A lot of girls tell me to my face that I'm sensitive and kind and blatantly called me a pushover. I always wrote off the comments as jokes though. This article gave me a lot of food for thought.

I'm just trying to figure out how deep into the dark knight/asshole role I should dive before it becomes too much for the girl to handle.

Keep the fire

PussySeeker's picture

How do I find women with a large tolerance for prolonged weakness?

Just like every other guy, the knowledge that a woman would betray me- and ENJOY it, is very unsettling...but at the same time I can't just stick my head in the sand I have to prepare myself.

Aside from becoming a strong, attractive man with options (which I am working hard on at the moment), I'd also like to know how to identify women who have a very high tolerance for weakness before they go rogue.

How do you do it?

someguy's picture

Hello Hector

thought provoking piece, you did there. To everyone disturbed by the article I want to add:

An underlying concept to understand how women act is that they have a tendency to primarily use intuition over fixed rules. Thus everything is about context. She may be totally faithfull with one guy, but not with another.
I think the only way to feel "safe" in a relationship with a women - once you understand pretty normal girls are capable of a lot of stuff given the right context - is to rely on intuition yourself.

The good news is: Intuition can be trained by using it. And it not only helps with girls. :-)

yodaddy's picture

What country are you from?

LOL1234SmoothSpeaker's picture

Same could be said for men, surprisingly situations like these will normally occur where you want them to (Nightclubs, Bars). The women you get/date/sleep with are normally a reflection of yourself. I guess female cheaters are also like male cheaters.

E's picture

So after getting a real late (but happily successful start) start on developing game, I ended up deciding to give monogamy a whirl.

I'm having some trouble along these lines as of late (some mental health/depressive stuff - I lost my way for a little too long, and not surprisingly, my girl started getting edgy) - for whatever reason, this article had me cracking up pretty hard, especially the reminder about Tucker's brilliantly hysterical moment there. So thanks for writing dude - always a pleasure, and a boon to see your insights.

reader for long time's picture

Great article. Really paints the pig picture in your head. This is exactly how women works. Not maybe all of them , but sure vast majority. And you are better off just accepting this. when you deal enough with women and the world. and different situations. you know that all the writers and articles speak the truth. different viewpoints. sure. but it's all the same. don't be ignorant and fool. or bitter. just try to be genuine man. the world will show you how. and experiences you gather. BIG THANKS to all the GC team. Keep on rockin and educating. !!

Athene's picture

Hello Héctor,

First, I´d like to tell you I find your articles and this website very refreshing. I appreciate the honesty and the great writing style. I´m one of the silent female readers.

I see many men being under the impression -all- of us women are -equally- unreliable because of our emotional/intuitive nature, and believe this means they can´t have a break as leaders in the relationship, ever. And as you mentioned they can get paranoid and bitter, which is understandable but frustrating.

Since being often (and unfairly) part of the receiving end of that bitterness and distrust, I´d like to add some of my perspective with an example. (I´m gonna use a work-related one because it is a situation in which I have to lead, instead of romantic relationships, when I follow.)

When I´m working with employees, I classify them into "solids" or "liquids".
"Solids" are people that have inner control and cultivate it. (e.g.They do what they have to do whether their boss is around or not.)
"Liquids" are the opposite. They delegate control to religion, peer pressure...or you.

Every time I had to deal with a "liquid" under my command I resented it, I felt it was unfair to carry all the load, I couldn´t enjoy my job at all. The solution was simple: As a business owner, I kept the "solids" only.

Solids are super loyal so, does having a "solid" team means I can get lazy?
Of course not. I cannot be a silly, clueless boss, ignoring my employees´ needs and expect them to still respect me. But I´m not slaved by the inmaturity of "liquids" anymore. I strive to be my very best as well, as a result, my relationship with my team members is polite, friendly and respectful. Why? Because both parts work to deserve each other.

I believe great relationships with mutual affection and respect are perfectly achievable between men and women, and I think being realistic is the first step towards that. I hope this comment is helpful in some way for the all the men here.

Athene

PD: While I was writing this comment, I realized that the "being a silly boss and still expecting respect" bit is, in my opinion, the professional equivalent of the male expectation of unconditional love you mentioned in a previous comment. ;-)

I´m looking forward to reading your future articles.

Athene.

Jimbo's picture

I wouldn't call the Serpent a bull, but it's not like Eve sucked his dick or anything; he just used her (in a platonic way) to get at God, though Adam did seem kind of weak and passive during this whole ordeal.

And not to question the Almighty's wisdom, but I would've finished this verse -- “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” -- with "bitch!"

Jimbo's picture

In the first line, I meant to say "because" not "but".

Anonymous 's picture

I always thought the whole cuckold thing was about letting your wife or gf fuck a taller, more muscular dude with a huge cock. Most cuckold porn I've seen is a big black dude fucking a white woman while her white husband watches. Tbh, the whole concept of fucking a man's woman right in front of him turns me on. Im not considered tall nor short, i am muscular but not yolked, and i have an average cock. Does this mean that I would never be able to be a bull? And in a hypothetical and extreme example, would a man who is 5'3 in pretty good shape be able to be a bull to a 6'2 man's wife?

And on a different yet somewhat related note, the whole rise of cuckolding thing on porn sites has really skyrocketed. I have always been intrigued by the whole dynamic from every persons point of view, but my biggest question is why would a man ever give his woman up like that. I know you mentioned that some men are afraid to be dominant and others enjoy their woman having a lot of pleasure but could it be more than that. Could it be that men have become so used to watching porn that they want their wives to be their l
pornstars? I mean, youre pretty much watching a live porn. Or is it because guys are insecure beause they don't have the biggest arms, the nicest face, or the largest cock and simply cannot get over their insecurities?

Would like to hear your guys' thoughts.

sssssssssssssssssss's picture

" women will dominate and cuckold you if you let them"
does not that mean women are naturally dominant? I know you are going to say no, though.

You lean on laws's picture

It's all fine and good, not trying to change the world, but let's not pretend that violence being outlawed isn't the reason you get away with this. In primordial patriarchal society, you would have both been lynched. A long time ago.

Enjoy yourself because when the poverty hits your life is over. A society that punishes producers while rewarding thieves is destined to fail, if by men realizing it or buildup of genetic trash, whichever happens first. Which is fine with me, as building anew is plausible but returning to the past is not. For someone who merely takes, however, the future is a nightmare. As implied by your short term thinking.

Jop Worthy's picture

I see it as a game, one of many different ones that used to play. I suppose that my spouse and I had the luxury of meeting each other after we got tired of playing those games. I keeping getting these "Oh yeah.." moments when trying to remember everyone I have slept with, my spouse was able to keep a list with all the first names. I know right, why didn't I think of that. I was 29 and my spouse 35 when we married and at that point we both felt there was nothing left to miss out on. Neither of can say to the other that "You were able to sleep with all those people and I've been only with you." That's something I have seen destroy countless relationships. So, we both got to know each other after just getting sick and tired of playing that game and we both were looking for just one to commit with. We have so much in common, we both know what we like and how to spice up our lives. Now it has been 25 years and I have never felt the need to stray. We have so many of our own individual memories we can bring to each other to keep things interesting. Hey it was fun and it was real... but it the end it was't real fun. So many one night stands, shallow relationships and the mind games... it gets old.

J's picture

What you refer to is the carnal nature of man/woman. Sin feels good. To women too. Wow big shocker dude. Im sure you could be one upped by another guy.. but youll always have this story to feel strong and good about yourself. So it'll fall short. I hear a very pessimistic view on women here. Sex isn't everything. You may bed her but maybe she won't be with you. Her man aint a cuckold, he's been cheated on by a disloyal woman. Why he's ok with her going to clubs to do what she's doing is probably because he's out doing the same. You know he has game to land a woman so sexy,you would even sleep with her. Cmon man open your eyes and pop your big ego.

JAM's picture

Almost everything you said in this article sounds like a good reason to murder every woman I meet. I'm sane enough to not act on that, but it doesn't change the truth: if this is how women think, then they are automatically wrong and deserving of consequences.

michael Sodovski's picture

Look i get what you're saying but if you'll think deeper then you'll realize that the cuckold is the bull and the bull is the cuckold. because just like letting you're wife fucking other men is pathetic, fucking other men's wife is also pathetic.
human beings has two personalities. by the Jewish kabbalah human beings has two sides to them, the beast (EGO) and the true self. the ego do works as you reffared to. there is one to fuck and other one to degrade but we are not animals and a true alpha male will never fuck another men's wife.
i guarantee you that the only think that keeps the bull from fantasying about other men fucking his wife is his ability to stick to this ego standard of being attractive but the minute his own opinion of himself will deteriorate for some reason (even if it's his sociopathic woman did it to him) then he WILL start to secretly enjoy those fantasies because that's how the Ego self works. (no empathy at all\ pure evil\ יצר הרע)

woman by the kabbalah are unholy. (majority of them) they are ego driven because they are dumb by nature.
there are men who are dumb also. but the woman has more dumbness in her (spiritual dumbness) and that is the reason why she does evil deeds. the real men is not the one who caters to her beasty will to do evil deeds because then he is not better than the cuckold who cutters to her shit. they both doing what she wants. they both willing to betray their manly brotherhood in exchange to fuck some nasty sick pussy of cock sucking ego driven whore. instead of giving the cuck a lesson. to help him get himself together and make him stronger as a man. he degrades him also. this is a shame for the bull and he is not a real men. (he is just a stronger beast than the cuckold AT THE CURRENT TIME PERIOD) his the same as the ego driven beasty woman. the real men will not even try to control the woman. she will listen to him from her own will. there will be no testing AT ALL. he won't stand her bullshit not from a place of "i have to be strong because WHAT'S WHAT I KNOW MAKES HER PUSSY WET", he won't cater to her bullshit because he really thinks that her behavior is unacceptable. (he has values of a human being) and those values makes him the strong REAL alpha male that he is. a woman will never EVER even think about cheating or testing him and he won't even care if she will because he is only pure truth and not Ego driven at all.

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